All of Your Dreams Just Became a Reality

THE END OF THE WORLD IS NEAR, as Tea Baggers plan to call in sick on July 30, 2009 to protest, umm, TAXES! The event is truly epic. It is called “a day without a Conservative.” Can you imagine anything more awesome for the rest of us? A WHOLE DAY, without them? We should rename July 30, 2009 “Christmas,” in honor of logic’s rebirth.

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Phil Valentine Wants to Give His Balls to Everyone

Are you in need of a little testicle infusion. Phil Valentine wants to help you!

Phil runs a radio show that runs between 4 and 8 p.m. somewhere out of Nashville, TN. His father Tim was actually a DEMOCRATIC Senator— but not Phil. No no. He’s just delightfully INSANE!

His website, which is wrought with spelling and grammatical errors (even more than this site) isn’t even readable, mostly. BUT STILL, he has a project! He’s going to give Senators his balls. That’s right— his balls.

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Insane Lady Speaks at Austin Tea Party

“Where there’s SMOKE, there’s umm, sorry I don’t have a TELEPROMPTER.”

Oh these people are just fantastic, aren’t they?

TeaBlogging Interview with Joe the Plumber

We were not expecting Joe the Plumber to be at the Austin rally, but YES. He was there. Our TIT sends the above-interview for your review. He even asks Joe about the Birth Certificate thing, so you know it’s legit.

July 4, 2009 Reminder

Hey people— are you attending an Independence Day Tea Party? We want your photos! Send them (and a description) to shorts@shortsshortsshorts.com and they will be posted. We already have a few TITs volunteering, but the more the merrier.

Report From the Field— Raleigh, North Carolina— June 3, 2009

Hey there. While this post was way delayed, as Stephanie was holding the Tips box hostage from your new Editor, we can now confirm that “Blue NC” provides an account of a June 3rd Tea Bagging, which “Jerimee” was forced to witness:

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Fox News Mercilessly Promotes July 4th Tea Parties

Are you excited for the upcoming tea parties? Fox sure as hell is:

(Think Progress via Joshua Blog)